Is perfectionism killing your relationships?

Having anal retentive tendencies when your spouse and children do not. How to not pass it down in the wrong way to your children? How to not drive your spouse nuts with your anal retentiveness? How to keep your sanity when others are not like you? How to retrain yourself so you do not push people away?

I do not have clinical OCD, but I have some anal retentive tendencies. But I like things done a certain way. Which does not mean that others' practices are wrong. Take doing the dishes, for example. After washing all the dishes, you wipe down all around the sink, faucet, counter, stove, and table. Which my kids do not always do and drives me nuts. Why? Because it has not been completed in my mind.

My tendencies bother my husband sometimes, and he will put me in my place if I push it too far. He usually brushes it off on the reg and ignores what I even said. He does know there are certain things that I just absolutely cannot stand or handle if not done a certain way and does his best to do them that way. But when I let my emotions get the best of me and start falling apart over something stupid, he reminds me to keep it in perspective.

My closet is organized by tanks (dressy to work), shirts (short-sleeved to long), sweaters (dress to hoodies), pants (dress to casual), and underwear that have to be folded a certain way. I know I am not the only one out there that is this crazy. I also embrace my crazy and know that it is there.

Or the way the toilet paper roll goes, which I know is an excellent debate for people. I am an under, and when it is not under, I flip it around even at other people's houses. Yes, I am that bad, lol.

My perfectionism can get in the way of teaching my kids life lessons because I get so meticulous about something that they end up not wanting to do it. After all, it will never be good enough, is what you are potentially telling them.

Over the last 16 years, I have trained myself to let it go. They are kids and will not always do it to your expectations. Being ok in those moments shows them that mistakes are ok, and that is how we learn and grow as individuals. I did not do an excellent job of not passing these tendencies down to my oldest child, as she is exactly like me regarding cleaning and organization.

Having this perfectionist, aka anal retentive personality, can be a good thing. Use it to your advantage when it is appropriate. Work, for example. When you do a great job and meticulously check your work, there are minimal to no mistakes; it shows dedication and hard work, which most companies or employers are looking for. They want people that they do not have to babysit or constantly correct. You must remember that everyone learns at different rates and in different ways, so keep your patience and understanding with those around you.

💖,

The Wellness Blondie

I would love to know, what do you think?