The real reason you're fighting (and how to fix it)

Don't wait until your relationship is on the rocks to try couples therapy. Far from a last resort, counseling can help even the healthiest couples thrive. As someone who has sung the praises of therapy for years, I believe engaging a professional can provide immense value at any stage of a relationship. Counseling creates a safe space to nurture connection, build understanding, and explore growth - no "trouble" required. Whether you're newlyweds or have been together for decades, couples therapy can equip you with communication tools to take your partnership to exciting new heights.

After years of individual therapy, my husband and I realized it was time to also try couples counseling. We've built a life together over the past 17 years, 15 of them as husband and wife. In that time, we've experienced the ups and downs of raising a family - from purchasing a fixer-upper home we're still renovating, to having two more kids, working opposite shifts to care for them, and weathering financial struggles. Despite the challenges, our commitment remains strong. We hope couples therapy will be one more way to invest in and strengthen our marriage as we look ahead to the next chapter.

Though life has had its challenges, we've built a beautiful life together. Our three healthy children are our greatest blessings. We're proud of our grown daughter as she builds her own life. Our cozy home overflows with love and laughter shared with wonderful friends. Now, as we approach forty and our children grow more independent, we find ourselves entering an exciting new season. Our little ones no longer need us as they did before. This transition opens up possibilities to rediscover each other as partners and nurture new dreams. While bittersweet, this fresh chapter promises adventures that will strengthen our bond and deepen our joy if we embrace it with open hearts.

With the arrival of this new season, our relationship is blossoming. We're committed to nurturing our bond by gaining a deeper understanding of each other. Therapy sessions are proving invaluable, equipping us with communication tools to really hear what the other is saying. As we learn to appreciate our differences, we're feeling inspired to step outside our comfort zones and try new experiences together. This intentional focus on our relationship is helping us cultivate true intimacy and connection. Our love is being reinvigorated as we prioritize understanding, empathy and quality time with one another.

We're officially dating again! After 17 years together, my partner and I realized we had let our relationship fall to the backburner far too often amidst the busyness of life. Though we've always had a loving connection, this past year we committed to prioritizing quality time together. We started with optimistic plans for regular date nights and alone time - but then, as always, life happened. Despite good intentions, we'd find ourselves continuously pushing romance to the backburner.

No more! We've decided to be intentional about stoking the flames of our relationship. Date nights are back on the calendar. We're stealing moments of undivided attention. And we're remembering all the reasons we fell in love so many years ago. This feels like an exciting new chapter for us - a relationship revival! It's a reminder that even after 17 years, we can still surprise each other and rediscover the magic we share. We're thrilled to be dating again!

A therapist can do so much more than just listen. They provide a deep well of wisdom, helping you see your life experiences in a new light. The benefits of therapy are profound. It builds understanding and empathy, reigniting and improving even the most strained relationships. Therapists guide us through the toughest parenting challenges. They act as a sounding board when we're lost, and a mediator when we're in conflict. Most importantly, therapy promotes self-acceptance and improved self-esteem. It enables personal growth by changing behaviors, enhancing expression, managing emotions, and transforming thought processes. With an insightful therapist by your side, you can gain a fresh perspective and start making positive changes.

When life gets complicated, gaining an outside perspective can make all the difference. A third party who isn't emotionally invested in your personal issues can offer invaluable insight, helping you see things from a fresh angle. Counseling provides that impartial point of view, enabling clarity and understanding that can be challenging when you're entrenched in the problem. With this newfound perspective, you're empowered to grow as an individual and strengthen your most important relationships. The communication and conflict resolution skills you'll gain in counseling equip you to better navigate relationships with your partner as well as family and friends. Even if you feel stuck, a counselor can light the path forward.

Back to dating.

It's time to rekindle that spark we've been missing for so long. Let's start dating again like we did in the beginning. Remember how it felt back then? The butterflies in your stomach when you got a text or call from that special someone. The thrill of making plans together. That wave of giddiness when your phone dinged, signaling a new message from your crush. We may be older and wiser now, but that doesn't mean we can't recapture some of that magic. Date nights give us a chance to reconnect and have fun together. A little effort goes a long way toward bringing back that excited, lovestruck feeling we used to have. So let's make it a point to go out, dress up, and appreciate each other like we did on our first dates. We just might rediscover how amazing "us" can be.

Getting ready for that first date is an exciting ritual. You likely rifled through your closet to find just the right outfit, one that makes you feel confident and attractive. A spritz of perfume, a touch of lipstick - these little preparations help you feel your best. And your date has likely done the same, donning a sharp outfit and a splash of cologne before coming to meet you.

When you come together for that first date, the chemistry is palpable. Your hands brush, your bodies draw closer. The tingling pleasure and building excitement signal a mutual desire to connect. This dance of touch, romance, and attraction marks the beginning of something special. While the relationship unfolds, you'll look back fondly on that magical first date that started it all.

That old flame can burn bright again. Like a chef firing up the stove, reconnecting emotionally - through quality time, thoughtful touch, and active listening - sparks passion's embers. Ingredients meld into irresistible cuisine. You'll crave more and more of each other's company.

Dream together. Plan adventures, near and far. Mind your mental and physical well-being. Tend constantly to your partnership's health. With care and attention, your relationship will nourish you both, body and soul. The banquet of your lives is bountiful. Savor each shared moment.

Where to find therapy

Looking to strengthen your relationship but can't quite make time for traditional counseling? We feel you. Life moves fast, and carving out time to physically go to therapy can be tough. But don't give up hope! There are amazing virtual counseling options that make it easy and affordable to get the help you need, right from the comfort of home.

Our top pick is Talkspace. For as little as $65 per week, you and your partner can have video sessions with a licensed therapist. And right now, you can get $100 off with code SPACE. Not bad! If you're looking for something even more budget-friendly, check out Regain by Betterhelp. Use code COUPONCAUSE for 10% off your first month. Or give Withours a spin - it's designed specifically for busy couples juggling hectic schedules.

No matter which option you choose, virtual counseling empowers you to start building deeper connections, better communication, and a more fulfilling relationship on your own time. The support and guidance is out there - you've just got to reach for it. So what are you waiting for? Take the leap and invest in your partnership today. The rewards will be so worth it!

~ Tina