The ultimate guide to meaningful relationships

With Valentine’s day just around the corner, I thought now would be a good time to share this information. I have been deep in the throws of decluttering my home and deep cleaning to improve my mental health. Read more on decluttering here. When I do these things I put on my headphones and turn on a podcast to listen to, to help the time go by. This helps me to stay focused on completing the task instead of getting bored and giving up. When I give up, I end up frustrated with myself for not doing what I should be to keep my mental health at its best. While listening I heard this great podcast on understanding each other to grow your relationships which got me thinking about love languages.

My husband and I took this quiz in 2021 and went over our results and had a deep discussion about all the love languages and ways we can show each other love with our dominant love language. We retake the quiz every year because as individuals we do grow and change all the time so retaking the quiz helps us to understand ourselves and one another to keep nurturing our relationships.

When we first took the quiz my husband was a dominant Quality time and I was a Words of affirmation. We gave each other examples of what the other could do to show love. We carved out time to do these things for each other to deepen our relationship. With our kids getting older and closer to having an empty nest we want to ensure we have a great foundation for our relationship that grows with each other not away. With all the changes in our lives over the past year, I am now Acts of service and he is still Quality time.

There are 5 love languages and understanding your love language can deepen your relationships with loved ones. To find out your love language take the free quiz linked below. Communicate your love language with your significant other so you can show each other love and how they best receive love.

What are love languages?

Love languages describe the way we feel love and appreciation. Most couples do not have the same love language. Understanding all the love languages will strengthen your relationship. Knowing how to show your partner love and appreciation the way they want to be loved is a key component to a successful relationship. This does not have to just be with your significant other, you can use this to understand your family and friends as well. Everyone wants to be loved; showing them love in the way they receive it is the best way to do that.

The five different love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. Are you ready to find out more about love languages?

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. Unsolicited compliments mean the world to this person. Hearing "I love you," “you amaze me,” “your strength is inspiring,” and “you look fantastic,” is important. Hearing the reasons behind the love makes them feel over the moon. Kind, encouraging, and positive words truly melt this person’s heart. Sending a quick text message letting them know they are amazing, and you are thinking of them will have them soaring with delight.

Insults can leave them shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Definitely! Anything you can do to ease the burden of responsibilities for an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. “Let me do that for you” are the words he or she wants to hear. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts. Doing some of their errands, running the kids to school, picking up the grocery order, or completing chores around the home are great examples of acts of service. Who wouldn’t love to come home, and your significant other tells you to get in the tub they drew for you with a glass of wine and just relax while they complete all the evening tasks you must do?

Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them, say their feelings don't matter.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. The perfect gift or gesture shows they are known, cared for, and prized. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly. It can be simple things such as cards, a small bouquet, their favorite candy/dessert, or an item they have been pining over for some time.

A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Quality Time

Quality Time is undivided attention sharing quality conversations and quality activities. Being there for this type of person is crucial. Being there the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby. This makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Sitting around a campfire having a conversation, going on dates without phones out, and cooking dinner together are great ways of spending quality time together. You can even sit by each other, and each read a book or snuggle up and watch a movie. Just being near them will show them you love them.

Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be hurtful to them.

Physical Touch

This Love Language isn't all about sex. Physical Touch is hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face. These can show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical touch nurtures security and belonging. Yes, intimacy in the bedroom is important, but there are a million other ways to physically touch this type to show love. A great way to do this is by putting your arm around them, brushing their hair back, massaging them, and simply sitting next to each other while watching a show.

Physical presence and accessibility are very important, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable.

What is the purpose of love languages?

People want to express love in a way that is meaningful to the other. The purpose of discovering love languages will teach you how to love your partner in a way that is expressive to them. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your’s and your partner's primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship. Now that you know about love languages, take the quiz to find out your primary love language. To go even deeper into love languages, check out Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 love languages” and his website.

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes - Discover your love language

https://amzn.to/3EPWgKT - The 5 love languages book by Gary Chapman

https://5lovelanguages.com/ - Gary Chapman’s website with tons of great books and information to dive in deeper.

~ Tina