Overcoming Food Fear

After years of food restrictions, bingeing, and killing my gut microbiome, I became fearful of food. Everything I ate would cause intestinal issues, discomfort, bloating, gas, and/or diarrhea. How embarrassing to be out with people and have to unbutton your pants, leave, or spend too long in the bathroom.

I began avoiding invites and barely eating because of the gut dysbiosis I had caused. I was too embarrassed to communicate with my friends and family that I did not know what I could even eat anymore to not be in pain. I felt alone, lost, frustrated, and unsure where to go.

I reached out to my NP about what was going on with my body. She had me do several blood tests and bring several samples of my bowel movements. She checked for celiac disease, glucose levels, leaky gut, and vitamin deficiency. All the results came back normal. This threw me into a spiral of frustration, disgust, and fear.

How do I eat and not be in pain? How do I find out the root cause of this? How many more tests do I need to do to determine what is going on?

I did not want to go through rigorous testing and appointments with a GI for them to tell me to take a pill. I am already on several medications for chronic nerve pain, anxiety and depression, and hormonal acne. When does it stop? I am by no means against medications. They are great for acute problems. When you end up on them for years and need to add this one to combat the first side effects and then another to fight the second side effects, you begin to take so many medications, and there seems no end.

I started by seeing an allergist so I could figure out everything I am allergic to. This first step would help determine if I needed to eliminate any specific foods. Then I researched many books and information about functional and gut health. One of my favorite books is Fiber Fueled b Dr. Will Bulsiewicz. Here is a link to purchase it for yourself if you are interested.

After listening to several doctors' podcasts, reading, and researching, they all agree on a couple of things. Eat a wide diversity of plants, up your fiber intake, and go slow to repair your gut microbiome.

Go slow? But I want it to be fixed now. I know the feeling. With everything so fast-paced, we have been programmed to expect instant results. But if you want sustainable results, you must take your time and stick to the process.

The first several days that I began reintroducing foods I had not eaten in years; I had discomfort, bloating, and irregular bowel movements. By the end of week one, my bloat was gone, my bowel movements were regular, my gas was gone, my discomfort was gone, and everything I was consuming was delicious. As the weeks turned into months, my food diversity expanded immensely.

I was finally excited again about food. I began falling down recipe rabbit holes to see how many ways I could use bok choy, leeks, turnips, beets, and more. I was excited to peruse the produce section and pick out all the rainbow colors. The meals I was creating tasted amazing and were gorgeous to look at. Beaming with color, smell, and flavor.

My husband and kids loved all the meals as well. Of course, they did question a few things, but over time they just expected each meal to be delicious without question. My son's favorite meals are tacos and pizza. Both meals have a multitude of vegetables that you can add to them for that diversity and color.

I could eat pizza without fear or regret for the first time in years. I thoroughly enjoyed that meal with my whole family. They were all surprised that I had a couple slices. I did have a salad first for even more vegetables, but I fully participated in Pizza night.

My gut was finally able to handle whatever I put in it. I was sleeping better, feeling more energized, and wanted to cook more. My passion for food was back, and there was no stopping me now.

This is a lifestyle that I can stick with forever. The menu options are endless. When I crave Chinese, I do not have to fear how my body will react. I listen to my cravings, make my own meals, eat primarily plant-based, add lots of spices and herbs for flavor, and slowly add more movement. As I said, this is a process, not a quick fix.

I am still working on my mental health and hormones before I want to ween off of those medications. Which I will consult my physician about before doing anything.

Start with a tiny change, and once you have mastered that add another. Please consult a physician or dietitian to ensure you stay safe before changing your lifestyle.

💖,

The Wellness Blondie